One of the most commonly heard phrases in all of pregnancy is, inarguably, “healthy baby.” We hear it from many a pregnant mama giving that boilerplate answer in regard to the baby’s sex: “I don’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, I just want a healthy baby.” We hear it from medical practitioners, other parents, family members, etc. And it’s not that there’s anything wrong with wanting a healthy child—everyone does. It’s that having a healthy baby isn’t the only thing that matters. And some people don’t have conventionally healthy babies, no matter how hard they wished for one.
A new video from the popular Domestic Blisters TikTok account sheds light on this phrase by offering different perspectives and how the phrase affects each of them in a unique way.
Related: Teacher has the PERFECT response when students ask ‘Where do babies come from?’ in viral TikTok
“Listen honey, I know it wasn’t the delivery you hoped for. But the most important thing is a healthy baby,” KC Davis, the licensed professional therapist behind the Domestic Blisters TikTok account, says in the role-playing video.
This video is great for a number of reasons. One, it reminds the viewer that experiences outside of our own matter. Two, it shows how a seemingly innocuous phrase that has been uttered repeatedly among and to pregnant people since the dawn of time can actually not be totally harmless after all. Even if it’s said with good intentions, as it mostly is, stressing the importance of a “healthy baby” still impacts the people you’re saying it to. Especially if they’re pregnant or new parents.
We need to remember that birth trauma, stillbirths, pregnancy losses, pregnancy complications, and postpartum trauma exist in abundance—not in a vacuum. Additionally, fetal development can look radically different from person to person. There’s no one “right” way for a fetus to develop in terms of how it impacts the health of said fetus.
Related: When I tell you about my difficult birth, here’s what I need you to do
“This phrase runs rampant in pregnancy spaces and its BS,” Davis captions her video. “A healthy baby is not the only thing that matters. Your experience matters. Your trauma matters. Your consent matters. All babies matter. Sick babies matter. Disabled babies matter. Stillborn babies matter.”
Viral Domestic Blisters TikTok Highlights Problem With Term 'Healthy Baby' - Motherly Inc.
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